A seemingly polished patriarchal funda proposed in a new Hollywood flick interested me a few days ago.
The Funda:
Q: Why men lose interest in their ‘wives/partners’ to have sex, pay attention, to relate to them in a meaningful way etc. ?
A: These days, women are so sure of themselves, they have definite opinions, they are increasingly becoming control freaks, they are highly efficient, they are critical etc. in a nutshell women have become ‘ball breakers’. All these traits of modern women ‘emasculate’ the man and he does not feel like ‘The man’ in the relationship and is almost afraid/intimidated to touch or hold her….
I am not going to debate about the validity/stupidity of the argument or any such thing but share a few things.
1. As soon as there is talk about any bill which will help stop violation of women, there is a debate about how ‘innocent men’ will suffer from it.
2. There is a general belief that ‘sexual harassment’ at workplace happens only in places where people are ignorant.
3. Women get teased, ragged and raped because of their provocative dressing
4. Women who are open about relationships are loose
5. There are men who believe hiring women is a bad idea because they have more ‘personal’ complications and are under productive (pregnancy, children falling sick, safety issues at late hours etc.)
6. Most of all pregnancy prevention aids that are advertised and sold are for women
7. In two focus group discussions with women and men (separate), they were of the opinion that AIDS ‘comes’ because of female sex workers
For a change, wouldn’t it be refreshing if,
• Mainstream movies are made, where women put forward their views on sex, about importance of foreplay and the boredom they feel about ejaculation centeredness of ‘normal’ sex,
• There will be Ads which talk about female and male condoms more and less about injections, tablets, and what not for women
• Men’s underwear ad makers understand: We boil inside when we see half naked men jump for rescue emboldened by their new briefs and feel disgusted by the false image creation of women fawning over him for the same… are you guys nuts?
This list is huge ……
To end this, where is the start?
4 comments:
ha ha ha cool man. I think its a wonderful writing. Is there any word opposite for emasculated?! :-D
luv,
venky.
Bold women seem to emasculate men who are used to 'week','dependent','fragile',which are all part of the definition of "beauty","love" and also what men expect in women.It makes them feel proud of themselves.
I don't know what they should ask for if women start threatening them like this as 'Boldness' belongs to men only!
All this change only when men stop carrying their 'male'ness as a trophy won in Olympics and women behaving like cursed angels and wanting to be won over.
Sexes need subtlety and sensitivity between them than playing custom made roles.
I laugh with disgust at the stereotyping of men. It is equally bad. Market objectifies both men and women. And most of us seem to like it.
One is physical part of being masculine and feminine. Another is can a man and woman be in touch with both masculine and feminine and challenge the stereotyping of both ?
Dear Hari, I agree with you again! I am just pointing out the play of patriarchy out there in the media. Of course we all have our masculine and feminine selves and many of us are not aware and are ashamed of the same.
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