Patterns are patterns
whether they are for resistance
or for acceptance
for love or for everything else
Some times, I am an island,
all my sides covered with
glorious self absorption or
thinly spread contempt
for the others
I am also a light tower
relentlessly beaming light
into distant sea
while it is dark near by
in the hope of greater good
Many a days I am a dejavu
repeating the days and times
and echoing the patterns of the past
and realising only after the repetition
I am on some days,
the green box in the attic
With the books and smells and scents
of distant past, preserved for
eternity
I am a remote on some days
with buttons displayed
for anger, sadness and
stand - by suspended
There are days when I am
the stream that flows taking
floatsam along with
scores of living - thriving creatures
Many days I am woman
who feels all the above and
wonders whether this is dejavu!
19 comments:
So true! we all are in some ways or the other. What strikes me always is when I move forward, I am scared of the unknown. So I am comfortable to take the best of past while I step into the future. That is what I want to treasure, the best of what was into what will be.
Lovely poem dear.
Venky said it all...we get into the pattern only because we don't know how to handle the 'unknown' without any pattern and that is why we create and cling to it... getting tired of it, we continuously move from one pattern to another in the hope of change...but replacing one pattern with another is not change...patterns may be new, but their themes are the same...this leads to the feeling that it is all one big deja vu...because that is what it is!
@Venky: Yeah I agree with you but some days feel like my very own 'groundhog day'. I am the bundle of what life I lead so far and there are things which are best, worst and to be forgotten and I process them by seeing what I am doing. Some times the processing seems to be a pattern too. Then it gets into the vortex of past and future. That tires me a lot these days. Thats why the poem kano
@Annayya: yeah it can be very tiring too ... seeing that makes me wonder how to be patternless and what if that itself is the new pattern!
If we say pattern is draining, then, ‘pattern-less- ness’ has to be energizing… otherwise it becomes another pattern…how to be pattern-less is an age old question, right from ‘have faith and god will operate in you’ to ‘awaken kundalini and it will take you beyond’ there are a number of religious options…or we can choose a psychological theory and conform to its pattern…we know the use of LSD which has powerful effect on mind...but according to buddha, everyone has to work it out independently…and he says, ‘be your light to your path’...that means, no belief, no method, no theory, no chemical can work for us apart from creating illusions...
How correct Buddha is - so I might get to the light using my methods and you by yours ... cool
that's what everyone does...this is my way and that is your way...and all roads lead to timbuktu...you do not go to light which is outside with a method...you have to be your own light ;)
Yeah I agree, I need my own light - but if I dont get the light out by doing something, then I might have to sit and wait for it glow no? so what say to that?
When you have set aside all your beliefs and knowledge, not because somebody told you so but because you want to see things on your own, you have become your light...you can't sit and wait...you have to sit and work it out ;)
Aparna, absolutely loved this. And I feel this way too! Also probably one of the reasons I can watch "The Hours" any number of times - so poetic in its capturing of the everyday struggle. Your post is like that too. Write more!
For me too, every once in a while I have to remind myself that I need to get out of this one pattern only by jumping into another. I move in spirals, I feel. And once in a while,there will be a lucky evening, a talk, a walk or some mundane or large something which will throw me into a higher lighter spiral. Some that pull me down back too.
Being with Pavan makes me brave. So in the moment, fun and carefree.
But there is an intensity in the slow or fast drone of the pattern that is exhilarating too no?
Sigh.
Lets meet!
Love :) You have a way with words and images.. and knitting them together.
Very creative and subtle Thanks
The whirlpool of patterns
the mystery of a design which I inherit
unknowing moments of escape
where I am what I am not?
when I fall back it is a mix of home coming and entering an alter ego
one familiar but beaten word to use for patternless state of being is love...it is the light, it is the path and it is the destination... in human history jesus better represents this than anyone else...he carried misery of the world with his love...that means to what extent we can feel for another person's suffering, to that extent we are capable of love...all other things we do are just an escape...
Thanks Chin,
For me some patterns are so comfortable, it becomes almost impossible to let go .. though I know it is a pattern and it needs to change or I need to be free of it. I understand the spirals and comfort or the exhilaration as well and that makes it even more difficult to let go I feel.
Thanks Arpita :)
Hari: the dance of persona and shadow, shadow becoming persona and persona becoming shadow and each feeling like dejavu of the other ... thanks for the comment kano
Annayya: I was reading What Rahmath Tharikere wrote about Buddha - what struck me was the fact that 2 people, Buddha and Allama going exactly in opposite routes to see the 'truth'. Allama wandered all over and went into a cave in Shreesailam and started his journey there, Buddha sat in a cave for some years and then abandoned that went into wandering the villages and one fine day he was under the Bodhi tree and rest is history. I agree that love is the key and I need my own journey and there is no road map. Keep looking up my blog brother :D
there is no journey and there is no road map...journey implies time (here to there) and map implies method (how)...not because i say it...the field is like that...it is empty space...putting the mind in this field is the question...it is not buddha or allama's property...it is human quest...another man's knowledge can only be a pointer...in this case word is not the thing ;)
Annayya: ejjactly mate I agree :)
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